Yo Mama Jokes

Yo mama so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.

Yo mama so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

Yo Mama so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

Yo Mama so stupid, she thought, “Wu Tang” was an African orange drink!

Yo Mama so stupid, you have to dig for her IQ!

Yo Mama so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

Yo Mama so stupid, she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo Mama so stupid, she told everyone that she was “illegitiment” because she couldn’t read

Yo Mama so stupid, she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo Mama so stupid, she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo Mama so stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!

Yo Mama so stupid, that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order!

Yo Mama so stupid, that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

Yo Mama so stupid, when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Yo Mama so stupid, she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo Mama so stupid, she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo Mama so stupid, she took a cup to see Juice.

Yo Mama so stupid, that she sold the car for gas money.

Yo Mama so stupid, she asked you “What is the number for 911″

Yo Mama so stupid, she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Yo Mama so stupid, she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said, “Guess” so she said, “Levi’s.”

Yo Mama so stupid, she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo Mama so stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

Yo Mama so stupid, she stole free bread.

Yo Mama so stupid, when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put “O.K.”

Yo Mama so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo Mama so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo Mama so stupid, she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.

Yo Mama so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo Mama so stupid, she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

Yo Mama so stupid, she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Yo Mama so stupid, she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Yo Mama so stupid, she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo Mama so stupid, she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo Mama so stupid, she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!

Yo Mama so stupid, she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo Mama so stupid, that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

Yo Mama so stupid, she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

Yo Mama so stupid, when the pc said “Press any key to continue”, she couldn’t find the Any key.

Yo Mama so stupid, she watches “The Three Stooges” and takes notes.

Yo Mama so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo Mama so stupid, she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo Mama so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus.

Yo Mama so stupid, she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

Yo Mama so stupid, she gave birth to you.

Yo Mama so stupid, she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Yo Mama so stupid, when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

Yo Mama so stupid, that under “Education” on her job apllication, she put “Hooked on Phonics.”

Yo Mama so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go.

Yo Mama so stupid, she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

Yo Mama so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.

Yo Mama so stupid, she couldn’t read an audio book.

Yo Mama so stupid, she spent twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said `concentrate.

Yo Mama so stupid, it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg.

Yo Mama so stupid, she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer.

Yo Mama so stupid, it take her a week to get rid of a 24 hourr virus.

Yo Mama so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.

Yo Mama so stupid, she studied for a drug test!

Yo Mama so stupid, she went to Disney World and saw a sign that said “Disney World - Left” so she went home.

Yo Mama so stupid, she was on the corner with a sign that said “Will eat for food.”

Yo Mama so stupid, was born on Independence Day and can’t remember her birthday.

Yo Mama so stupid, she has to ask for help to use hamburger helper .

Yo Mama so stupid, I put a Scratch-N’-Sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool and she drowned.

Yo Mama so stupid, it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.

Yo Mama so stupid, she thought gangrene was another golf course.

Yo Mama so stupid, that she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.

Yo mama is so skinny that she can see out a peephole with both eyes.

Yo mama is so skinny that she uses Chapstick for deodorant.

Yo mama is so skinny that her bra fits better backward.

Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio

Yo mama is so skinny that she only has one stripe on her pajamas.

Yo mama is so skinny that when she wore her yellow dress, she looked like an HB pencil.

Yo mama so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.

Yo mama is so skinny that she has to run around in the shower to get wet.

Yo mama is so skinny that you can save her from drowning by tossing her a Fruit Loop.

Yo mama is so skinny that she looks like a mic stand.

Yo mama is so skinny that she can dodge rain drops.

Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.

Yo mama is so skinny that she inspires crack whores to diet.

Yo mama is so skinny that she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant.

Yo mama is so skinny that if she had a sesame seed on her head, she’d look like a push pin.

Yo mama is so skinny that her nipples touch.

Yo mama is so skinny that she uses a Band-Aid as a maxi-pad.

Yo mama is so skinny that I could blind-fold her with dental floss.

Yo mama is so short she can play handball on the curb.

Yo mama is so short that she does backflips under the bed.

Yo mama is so short that she has to get a running start to get up on the toilet.

Yo mama is so short that she can play handball on the curb.

Yo mama is so short that she uses a condom for a sleeping bag.

Yo mama is so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

Yo mama is so short that she can limbo under the door.

Yo mama is so short that she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

Yo mama is so short she models for trophys.

Yo mama is so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!

Yo mama is so short she does backflips under the bed.

Yo mama is so short that she does pull-ups on a staple.

Yo mama is so short that her homies are the Keebler Elfs.

Yo mama is so short she poses for trophies!

Yo mama is so short that when she sneezes, she hits her head on the floor.

Yo mama is so short that she can do push-ups under the door.

Yo mama is so short that when I was dissin’ her she tried to jump kick me in the ankle.

Yo mama is so poor that her idea of a fortune cookie is a tortilla with a food stamp in it.

Yo mama is so poor that the bank repossesed her cardboard box.

Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,”DING!”

Yo mama so poor she can’t afford to pay attention!

Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald’s and put a milkshake on layaway.

Yo mama is so poor that when I asked what was for dinner, she pulled her shoelaces off and said “Spagetti.”

Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

Yo mama is so poor that she can’t even afford to go to the free clinic.

Yo mama is so poor that when yo family watches TV, they go to Sears.

Yo mama is so poor that I went to her house and tore down some cob webs, and she said “Who’s tearing down the drapes?”

Yo mama is so poor that I stepped on her skateboard and she said “Hey, get off the car!”

Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said “Moving.”

Yo mama is so poor that she lives in a two story Dorrito bag with a dog named Chip.

Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

Yo mama is so poor that after I pissed in your yard, she thanked me for watering the lawn.

Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, “What ya doin’?” She said, “Buying luggage.”

Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.

Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut.

Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo mama is so poor that I walked into her house and swatted a firefly and Yo Mama said, “Who turned off the lights?”

Yo mama is so poor that burglars break in and leave money.

Yo mama is so poor that I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she said “3rd tree to your right.”

Yo mama is so poor that she has to take the trash IN.

Yo mama is so poor that she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box.

Yo mama is so poor that I went through her front door and ended up in the back yard.

Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said “Hey miss, lost a shoe?” she said “Nope, just found one!”

Yo mama is so poor that I threw a rock at a trash can and she popped out and said “Who knocked?”

Yo mama is so poor that she can’t even put her two cents in this conversation.

Yo mama is so poor that I saw her wrestling a squirrel for a peanut.

Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.

Yo mama is so poor that she watches TV on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Yo mama is so poor that the closest thing to a car she has is a low-rider shopping cart with a box on it.

Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people’s fingers!

Yo mama is so poor that your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo mama is so poor that she married young just to get the rice!

Yo mama is so poor that when I went over to her house for dinner and grabbed a paper plate, she said “Don’t use the good china!”

Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her rolling some trash cans around in an alley, I asked her what she was doing, she said “Remodeling.”

Yo mama is so poor that her front and back doors are on the same hinge.

Yo mama is so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo mama is so old that she farts out mummy dust.

Yo mama is so old that she drove a chariot to high school.

Yo mama is so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Yo mama is so old that she farts out mummy dust.

Yo mama is so old her social security number is 1!

Yo mama is so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo mama is so old that she knew Mr. Clean when he had an afro.

Yo mama is so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

Yo mama is so old that she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.

Yo mama is so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo mama is so old that the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

Yo mama is so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

Yo mama is so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.

Yo mama is so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo mama is so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

Yo mama is so old that she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

Yo mama is so old that she DJ’d at the Boston Tea Party.

Yo mama is so old that she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Yo mama is so old that she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.

Yo mama is so old that her memory is in black and white.

Yo mama is so nasty that I when I talked to her on the phone, she gave me an ear infection.

Yo mama is so nasty that she bit the dog and gave it rabies.

Yo mama is so nasty that the fishery pays her to stay away.

Yo mama is so nasty that she brings crabs to the beach.

Yo mama is so nasty that she has more crabs then Red Lobster.

Yo mama is so nasty that she calls Janet “Miss Jackson.”

Yo mama is so nasty that she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.

Yo mama is so nasty that I chatted with her on MSN and she gave me a virus.

Yo mama is so nasty that her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.

Yo mama is so nasty that she makes speed stick slow down.

Yo mama is so nasty that she has a sign by her crotch that says: “Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts.”

Yo mama is so nasty that next to her a skunk smells sweet.

Yo mama is so nasty that when you were being delivered, the doctor was wearing the oxygen mask.

Yo mama is so nasty that that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.

Yo mama is so nasty that her tits leak sour milk.

Yo mama is so nasty that a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.

Yo mama is so nasty that she has to use Right Guard and Left Guard.

Yo mama is so nasty that she made right guard turn left.

Yo mama is so nasty that even dogs won’t sniff her crotch.

Yo mama is so nasty that every time she opens her mouth she’s talking shit.

Yo mama is so nasty that the only dis I want to give her is a disinfectant.

Yo mama is so nasty that she’s got more clap than an auditorium.

Yo mama is so nasty that her shit is glad to escape.

Yo mama so lazy she’s got a remote control just to operate her remote!

Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.

Yo mama is so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!

Yo mama is so hairy that she looks like Bigfoot in a tank top.

Yo mama is so hairy that Jane Goodall follows her around.

Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip that she braids it.

Yo mama is so hairy that when I took her to a pet store they locked her in a cage.

Yo mama is so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

Yo mama is so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.

Yo mama is so hairy that they filmed “Gorillas in the Mist” in her shower!

Yo mama is so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.

Yo mama is so hairy that she has afros on her nipples.

Yo mama is so hairy that people run up to her and say “Chewbacca, can I get your autograph?”

Yo mama is so hairy that she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on.

Yo mama is so hairy that her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.

Yo mama is so hairy that she got a trim and lost 20 pounds.

Yo mama is so hairy that if she could fly she’d look like a magic carpet.

Yo mama is so hairy that she shaves with a weedwacker.

Yo mama is so hairy that if you shaved her legs, you could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.

Yo mama is so greasy the chip shop uses her sweat as Deep Fry.

Yo mama is so greasy that she’s labeled as an ingredient in Crisco.

Yo mama is so greasy she got a job at the cinema - buttering popcorn with her leg hair.

Yo mama is so greasy she sweats Crisco!

Yo mama is so greasy that you could fry a chicken dinner for 12 on her forehead.

Yo mama is so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her

Yo mama is so greasy that she squeezes Crisco from her hair to bake cookies.

Yo mama is so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!

Yo mama is so greasy she sweats butter, syrup, excretes jam…and has a full time job at the ‘Pancake Palace’ wiping pancakes across her forhead.

Yo mama is so greasy that if Crisco had a football team, she’d be the mascot.

Yo mama is so greasy her freckles slipped off.

Yo mama is so greasy she uses bacon as a band aid.

Yo mama is so greasy her idea of bottled water is the left over oil slime from a bacon, sausage and egg fry up.